The Wedding day protocol
The Groom's side or those accompanying him will have an early start with the "Barat" (means The Groom's Side).
Arrival at Gurdwara
1. Departure of Barat: The Barat will leave from the Groom's house to go to the Gurdwara which will usually be near the Bride's home, and also where the wedding will take place. Thus this is the only part of the wedding where the grooms side must organise, otherwise the rest of the day is organised and coordinated by the brides family. Although don't be surprised if with changing times, everyone might decide to muck in.
If the groom lives quite some distance away from the bride, then the Barat may depart much earlier in the morning. It is common for the Barat to set off from the groom's house at 8am. The Barat will then travel to the local area where the bride lives.
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2. Reception of Barat: The Groom's party is "received" by the Bride's party at the Gurdwara, usually at the entrance. This usually takes place at about 9.30am. The women of the brides family will demand money for entry into the gurdwara, and the amount the groom has to fork up depends on how much the groom loves and values his bride. And whether he would like to get married to her.
3. Milnea: (This means "Introductions") The Ardas will be performed by the priest (Giani) followed by the formal introductions of the families. This will include the bride's & groom's father, grandfather and Mama - (mother's brother). They will formally meet, exchange garlands (and gifts) and have their photographs taken. This normally takes place in the foyer area of the Gurdwara at about 10am.
4. Tea: Tea with savouries (normally samosa, pakoras) and sweets (generally jalebis, ladoos and barfi) will be served and are normally taken standing at tables in the Langar hall at the Sikh temple (Gurdwara). Chairs are seldom provided in the Gurdwara unless the person is elderly or otherwise unable to stand for any length of time. Both the Groom's side and Bride's sides will take tea in turn (the groom has not sen his bride yet) and this should be concluded at about 10.30am.
Main Ceremony
5. Main Wedding Ceremony (Anand Karaj)
This is when the couple walk clockwise around the Guru Granth Sahib. This is the formal part of the ceremony and will always take place in a Gurdwara. After tea, by about 11am, everyone proceeds into the main prayer hall.
Proceed into the main hall paying attention to and observing the etiquette appropriate in the prayer hall. You must always show respect to the Guru Granth Sahib (the holy book) as the Guru is held in high esteem by the Sikhs.
You will be required to wear suitable clothing, as once you are sat on the floor in the prayer hall you will be on the floor for at least 45 minutes. The wedding ceremony’s formal part will commence at 11am and is completed at 1pm and will include various rituals …
i. Kirtan – This is the singing of the Holy Hymns. As you enter the prayer hall the hymns will be already taking place. The singers who will be religious people will be sat on a stage in the front of the hall, on one side of the Guru Granth Sahib. The Guru Granth Sahib will be attended by a volunteer Sikh or priest who will be waving a Chaur over the Guru. A few hyms will be sung, then a priest will announce the schedule of events for the formal parts of Anand Karaj ceremony.
ii. Ardas – The People involved are: Bride, groom, both parents of bride and groom - this is a prayer of which the mentioned people will be a part of.
iii. Palla - The bride's father will formally hand the end of the sash, which the bridegroom wears over his shoulder into the hands of the bride. At the same time the shabad "Palla tanda lagee" is sung by the musicians.
The Couple walk around the Sri Guru Granth Sahib four times at the set intervals; the priest will read a Laav (one of four) from the Guru Granth Sahib; then the musicians will sing the same laav while the Couple circle the Guru in a clockwise direction.
iv. Ardas – All the congregation will stand and join in the ardas followed by Hukamnama.
v. Sagaan – The parents of both the Bride and Groom, followed by key people and the congregation will bless the newly wedded and give gifts usually in the form of money and there may be photo opportunities here also.
vi. Kara Parshad – Blessed sweet is served. This ends the formal part of the Sikh wedding ceremony.
The Party and Closing
6. Lunch: traditionally this used to be Langar in the Gurdwara but now normalise commonly found in commercial venue and is more of a "dinner & dance" type of event. Party "Bhangra" music is played and, perhaps, even alcohol and meat may be served too.
7. Departure of Doli: The bride is given new clothes as gifted to her by the groom's family. She then departs from her parent's house. This is a very sad moment for the bride and her family.
8. Reception: (Optional) This may be held on the same day or on another day and is an evening "dinner and dance" type occasion, where only invited guests from both familes can attend.
Other concerns
Gifts, Sagaan, etc
It is not normal for the guests to take gifts for the Bride or Groom unless you are a very close relative. There is a ceremony called "Sagaan" which takes place at the end of the religious ceremony when most guests will gift money to the wedded couple. The amount is normally £10 or £20 to both the groom and bride.
The modern alternative, which is gaining popularity is to include the money in a congratulations card and give this to the mother of the bride or groom depending on which party invited you to the wedding. Unless you take the latter route, you will need to queue up at the conclusion of the religious ceremony. This can be quite a long wait.
I hope this has been a hugely informative post for those of you who are planning a Sikh wedding or even those who love a little monday morning read.
Have a fabulous Monday and an even brighter week ahead!
Keeping you inspired!
Rachyeta xxx
beautiful colors.
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