ROUND 2: Even Better!!

There are two routes you can take when it comes to second marriages: ‘Whatever you want’ or ‘Traditional’. Either it’s both of you getting hitched for the second time or it’s one of you. Part of the fun of second marriages is that you can do what the heck you want! If you’re the bride and it’s your first marriage but your groom’s going through it again then there’s nothing stopping you from wanting to wear that big white dress or that traditional red and gold sari and have that big dream wedding. If you are both getting married for the second time, then all the rules go out the window. Why not have a casual wedding without the politics of inviting hundreds of guests that you don’t really know very well at all. There are no rules with second marriages!

Stresses of first time weddings are inviting the whole world to your reception. With 40+ tables, each seating 12 guests, that’s 480+ people wishing you well for your future. It’s a lot of love, if they actually show up for you and not for your seated four course dinner. Come on now, I don’t even know 480 people’s names! Everything has to be bigger and better than the last wedding you attended. The pressure of pleasing everyone who attends, being courteous to those you should obviously know (even though you met them when you were 3 months old and sleeping in your cot). Come on! Please break the trend!!

Your second marriage can be so much more laid-back and relaxed without all the pressure mounted on being a great production and being able to focus on just the wedded couple. You can invite some of your nearest and dearest and celebrate without the 100+ audience, the stress of the horrendous bill to pay at the end of the night and the exhaustive tension build up. This gives you a chance to be less formal in terms of order of events and attire. You don’t need to have order of services printed, pretty looking menus and matching place names – Well you could if you really wanted to. Instead you can sit back and enjoy the most important things about your wedding day.

It could be safe to say that either of you could have children from your previous relationships. So it is really important to include them in the wedding. Especially the younger ones as they most probably won’t understand what is going on. Keeping them informed, explaining the process and how it will affect them is key. The older they are the more likely they will make their own mind up on the marriage. Don’t be disheartened if they decide not to turn up, the older they are, the more of a choice they have. It won’t necessarily mean that they don’t love you as much, but try and enjoy the wedding and work through it.

Inviting the ex is always a decision you need to make depending on your situation. Think about how it would make your partner feel and how it would impact your day. Bare in mind that some things may need to remain in the past for other things to progress in the future.

By British law you need to provide evidence of a divorce or dissolution if you have previously been married or in a civil partnership. Remember you still need to give notice that you’re getting married again. So you will need to provide your full name, age, address, nationality, current status (i.e. single or divorced), occupation and intended venue for marriage.

When it comes to financing this second marriage it is usually paid for by the couple. You cannot expect your parents to fork out for another wedding – it may be asking for a little too much. And when it comes to presents – you cannot also expect guests to buy you another present, especially those who attended the first one.

Break all the rules – there is no etiquette in terms of second marriages – well I would probably be told off for saying that – but who cares!! Break the mould ;)

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