Planning your wedding ceremony and have no idea where to start? Fear not, Shaadi-Esque is here to assist! Just remember that each family has their own rituals they include and some they exclude, some of those in this post are very traditional and are celebrated in India, whereas British Hindu equivalents are less extreme. However you can choose to dress your wedding up or dress it down, but to stay on the safe side, its **best to ask an elder**Hindu wedding ceremonies, much like that of Sikhism and other Indian rituals are long and can last for days if not weeks. If you scroll down this post, you will truly appreciate how many and how long Hindu wedding ceremonies are. The wedding itself is held on one day, however the days leading up to the big day are filled with rituals and cultural metaphors. They may seem tiresome, but when you understand the deeper meaning beneath each ceremony, you will understand and have a greater appreciation for the many sacrifices.
SourceTo begin there is the most exciting …
Engagement or Ring ceremony ('Misri') – this is when then wedding rings are exchanged, the couple welcome one another with garlands and the families exchange sweets and gifts. The engagement like many is rounded off with a dinner for friends and close family.
The Mendhi Party – This is a great reason for the Bride’s family to get dressed up and have henna painted on their hands and feet. The henna is for the Bride, her close female family and friends. There are songs and occasionally dancing to celebrate the festivities. Mendhi signifies the strength of a bond in a marriage so brides try to leave the Mendhi on for longer to ensure it darkens nicely! Mendhi parties are often celebrated in a hall or at home, food is usually served.
SourceRaas Garba (Sangeet Party)Most families celebrate the Sangeet party as a much larger affair, this can be as a separate or joint event for the two new ajoining families. There is an opportunity to primarily sing songs as well as have a feast and dance as it is a party. For Gujaratis, Raas Garba is a favoured alternative, usually held in a hall and a traditional dance, Garba and Dandia Raas is performed. A light supper usually concludes the Raas Garba.
Thr Ghari PujaThis religious ceremony takes place the night before the wedding day in both the bride and the groom’s houses. A priest will be called to perform prayers with a few props, these include rice, coconut, wheat grains, oil, betel nuts and turmeric. During this event, the female relatives and close friends dress up in all of their finest clothes and jewellery. They hold ceramic pots of water on their head and plant a small stalk in their garden in celebration of the marriage. Nowadays, the Ghari Puja is often combined with the cleansing ceremony (Pithi) during which the bride and bridegroom are pasted with turmeric powder in a beautification process.
The Wedding Ceremony:The wedding day begins with a fast for the bride and the groom. The groom will leave his house alongside his best man and a younger female relative whose job it is to keep the groom awake by shaking a metal pot filled with a few. “The history behind this curious custom is that weddings in India were traditionally held in the evening at which time many a groom might succumb to slumber!”
On departing his house, his younger female members will stop him and demand a "gift" in exchange for allowing him to leave for his wedding ceremony.
The wedding ceremony will take place in a Mandap, which is the four poled which performs a similar purpose to an alter. There is a fire which is sacred on the stage in the Mandap which “symbolises not only the illumination of the mind, knowledge and happiness but is also a clean and pure witness to the ceremony as it progresses.”
The ceremony is performed by the bride, the groom and their parents and close relatives through a set of rituals. The priest will chant "mantras" from the Vedas that were originally written in Sanskrit. He will also use the following props in his ceremonies .. Fresh flowers - to signify beauty; Coconut - to signify fertility; Rice, jaggery and other grains - to signify the food necessary for sustenance of human life; Ghee (purified butter) - to feed the sacred fire; Kumkum (vermilion) - red powder used for marking the forehead to signify good luck and to say that your soul (husband) is with you.
SourceThe breakdown of the HINDU WEDDING DAY CEREMONY:
Ganesh PujaThis starts the wedding day off with a prayer which asks Lord Ganesh to chase away any evils and to promote a successful and peaceful completion of the ceremony.
Grah Shanti (Worship to the Nine Planets)This is a prayer to the nine planets of our Solar system. The effect of the nine planets is meant to be the most reflective. During this puja the Gods associated with these planets are asked to instil courage, peace of mind and inner strength to the bride and groom to help them tolerate life's sufferings.
The Welcome (Parchan)The bride's mother will welcome the groom with garlands and she then walks him to the mandap. The father of the bride washes the right foot of the bridegroom with milk and honey. After this, a white sheet is held up to prevent the groom from seeing the bride on her arrival.
Arrival of the BrideThis can be as elaborate or simple as you wish. The bride can be carried in a small carriage into the mandap or she can be escorted by her very close uncle followed by the brides female cousins and friends.
Kanyadaan (Entrusting of the Daughter)The parents consent is given before the wedding is allowed to proceed. The bride's parents at this point will hand their daughter to the groom by putting the bride's right hand into the grooms right hand. (Hastamelap, joining of hands) while reciting a sacred verse. The sheet or curtain separating the bride and groom is now lowered and the couple exchange flower garlands. The elders of the house place an auspicious white cotton string around the couple's shoulder's to protect them from the evil influences. This represents the couple's bond. The bride and groom join hands and say their vows to love and protect one another.
Ganthibandhan (tying the knot)The priest ties the wedding knot as a symbol of the permanent union between the bride and groom as husband and wife.
SourceAgni Puja (evocation of the holy fire)The remainder of the wedding ceremony is performed around a fire which is set up by the priest in what is usually a copper bowl. Agni (fire) is the mouth of Vishnu and symbolises the illumination of mind, knowledge and happiness.
Shilarohana (stepping on the stone)This ritual is to represent strength in the coming troubles the couple will face together. The bride will be expected to place her right foot on the stone – this stone is a symbol of their home.
Laja homa (putting parched rice into the sacred fire)
Three obligations are offered to the sacred fire. The brother of the bride puts into the bride's hand parched rice, half of which slips into the bridegroom's hand. Mantras are chanted. The bride prays to Yama, the God of Death, that he grant long life, health, happiness and prosperity to the bridegroom.
Mangalfera (walking around the fire)The couple will make four rounds of the fire, after each individual round they will pause and touch their feel. This resembles the hindrances in their life that they will overcome together. Everything in these many ritual and ceremonies have a distinctive meaning and in their own way protect the couple from evil and hurt. Each of these four rounds have their own true symbol: Dharma – righteousness, Artha – monetary, accomplishment, Kama - energy and passion in life, Moksha - liberation from everything in life. The Groom will lead on the first three rounds which symbolically refers to his promise to attain righteousness, monetary aid, and energy and passion. The bride however signifies the liberation and will lead the final round.
Saptapadi (seven steps)
It is said in Hindu philosophy that if two people walk seven steps together then they will remain lifelong friends. The couple will exchange their vows at the start of each round and at the end the bride’s palms are generously overloaded with rice by her brothers to represent prosperity and wealth. A translation of the seven steps are below:
1.Let us take the first step to provide for our household, keeping a pure diet and avoiding those things that might harm us.2. Let us take the second step to develop our physical, mental and spiritual powers.3. Let us take our third step to increase our wealth by righteous and proper means.4. Let us take out fourth step to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love, respect and trust.5. Let us take the fifth step so that we may be blessed with strong, virtuous and heroic children.6. Let us take the sixth step for self-restraint and longevity.7. Let us take the seventh step to be true companions and remain life-long partners by this wedlock.Saubhagya Chinha (blessing the bride)The bridegroom blesses the bride by putting kumkum or sindhur (vermilion powder) at the parting of her hair (or on her forehead) and by giving her a sacred necklace (Mangal Sutra). The Mangal Sutra represents the couple's togetherness, love and sacred union.
Haridaya-Sparsha (touching of hearts)The bride and bridegroom touch each other's heart reciting promises to each other.
Chathurthi KarmaThe bride and groom feed each other four times for nourishment of the bone, muscle, skin and soul.
Aashirvaad (blessings)The priest blesses the bride and groom. Confetti in the form of petals and rice are thrown on the couple for blessings. The wedding guests can then give their individuals blessings to the bride and groom and once completed, the marriage ceremony ends. Guests are invited to enjoy a sumptuous meal with the newlyweds.
Viddai (Bride's departure)The farewell to the bride by her family and friends is always very tearful. She will start her new life with her husband and his family.
Source PilucinchuanuJust before the departure of the wedding car from the Hindu temple, the priest will place a coconut under the front wheel of the car; this is then broken by the car as it drives over it. I have recently seen this performed by a horse and carriage. The significance of this in the good old days was that the breaking of the coconut was to ensure the car was safe for the newly wed couple.
The pilucinchuanu is the last of the ceremonies for the wedding..
I hope you have found this post informative and useful whether you are researching or planning for your big day. Either way I wish you the very best and a prosperous 2012 in doing so.
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Rachyeta xxx
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